Into the Dark, and Out of my Mind

Into the Dark, and Out of my Mind

We begin our journey...

 

This blog serves to act as a doorway into my world. My struggles with mental illness have been my life story for more than a decade now. While I will include the disclamer that I am not a medical professional, nor do I work in a mental health related field, my words are simply here to detail my own personal journey.

 

If I can reach just one person, help one person to feel as though they are not alone, or help someone understand the struggles of a loved one, then I will have achieved my goal. I have always loved channeling my feelings and thoughts into creative writing. Some of my blog posts will be in the form of short stories, journal entries, fictional metaphorical writing, and poetry.

 

This serves as a view into my mind and life, my tumultuous personal relationships and how I've coped with the struggles of being a "mentally ill" adult. I am a daughter, a single mother, a sister, a dreamer, a friend, a writer and so many other things. I am not my illness, or at least I try my very best not to be.

 

So sit back, and prepare yourself, as we take a journey into the dark, and out of my mind...

 

We begin our journey with some background information on myself. I have struggled with several forms of mental illnesses for years. While I will preface this by saying I'm currently unmedicated and at a place in life where I no longer need therapy, the struggle still exists every day.

 

In the last decade (or rather 12 years to be precise) since my mental illness began to present itself and I began treatment, I have been formally diagnosed with PTSD, Borderline Personality Disorder, Agoraphobia, Social Anxiety, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Major Depression, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, and Post-Partum Depression (but more on that later).

 

I have been hospitalized 3 times in inpatient psychiatric facilities for a week each time, and seen a few different psychiatrists and therapists.

 

I have been in a place, within the last 5 years where I have been able to be taken off of medications, and I no longer attend therapy, but I still struggle at times to keep myself in check. I didn't grow up privelaged, but I didn't grow up impoverished either. My father used to tell me as a kid, "You have Champagne Dreams, on a Kool Aid budget..."

 

I am a dreamer, and while I'm aware that this blog may well be buried in the depths of the internet and never be seen, I can only dream that someone who needs to read this finds this blog, and that this helps to understand what a loved one is going through, or what maybe you're going through yourself.