You're not alone
Yesterday I found out that someone very close to me is in the hospital for contemplating suicide. She had said her goodbyes via text and was waiting on the train tracks. It's only by God's grace that her family found her before the train arrived.
She is a brilliant person, but very independent. She showed almost no signs to anyone other than her best friend. She didn't seek help on her own, and having known her for 10 years, I can confidently say that if her family hadn't made it there in time the world would have lost one of its brightest lights.
It's times like this that reinforce for me the need to build a support system. If you're feeling down, tell someone. Even if it's a stranger on the street, you'd be surprised at how many will understand.
If you, or someone you know, have suicidal ideations, or feel like that could even be a possibility, please ask for help. I can guarantee that no matter how bad it seems, it does get better.
It is moments like this that I realize how much my mental illness affects those around me. I have been in her shoes before, and been hospitalized for suicidal ideations and suicide attempts three separate times, but I've never been so close to this side of the situation before, and it can feel like you are blindsided.
Hold your loved ones close, because you never know what they're going through or what they could be thinking. If you know someone that is going through a tough situation, be their ear to listen and their shoulder to cry on if they need it. Life can be hard, but it always gets better. Just hang in there.